Thems The Vagaries chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

You may have to rescue me from limestone quarries frequently
   D                     A        E
Those corporate stunt shows you attend - you'll never get asked back again.
   A           E
Say, hello spinal curvature get used to the mirthless furniture
D                     A          E
Now we've kissed I've written this list I thought you ought to know.
A                     E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries
           D                  A  E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries.
     A
Well I'll not sit backwards on the train
    E
I can't say I'll always flush the chain
     D                 A           E
And what I call pleasure you may call pain - I'm talking five day tests.
A              E
Prepare to lose your dignity as I ride to victory
D                A        E
Down the aisles at Tesco wearing nothing much at all.
Bb         Gm       C  D
Ancient pack horse bridges we'll avoid
Eb    Cm         D
Marajuana bores must be destroyed.
A                 E
Bin men, thin men, lexicographers, squid yes not so octopus
D                    A         E
Egg sandwiches on coach trips in June - I simply won't be there.
A              E
No way joke shop excrement, don't say the lightshow's excellent
D                        A      E
It makes you smell of the laboratory instead of a fan of the band.
A                     E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries
           D                  A  E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries.
  A
Oh Brit Pop, turquoise, chips with apricot
E

Sheepskin noseband, kids in Aldershot
D                      A          E
You point to finches in my yard and you ask "what's them things there?"
A                     E
Them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries
          D                     A E
Them's the aviaries and I've been saving these things just for you
  A  E   A  E   A  E A