Billy The Mountain chords by Frank Zappa

Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)

Key: Ab

Difficulty: Advanced

Ebsus4
Billy The Mountain

Ebsus4
Billy The Mountain

N.C.
A regular picturesque

N.C.
Postcardy mountain

N.C.
Residing between lovely

N.C.
Rosamond and Gorman

N.C.
With his stunning wife ETHELL,

Eb5
A tree!

Eb5
A tree!

N.C.
BILLY was a mountain

N.C.
ETHELL was a tree

N.C.
Growing off of his shoulder

N.C.
BILLY was a mountain

N.C.
(BILLY was a mountain!)

N.C.
ETHELL was a tree

N.C.
Growing off of his shoulder

N.C.
(ETHELL was a tree growing off of his shoulder)

N.C.
(hey, hey hey!)

Ab
Billy had two big caves for eyes,

G
With a cliff for a jaw that would go up 'n down,

F#
And whenever it did he'd puff out some dust,

  B  Bb5 B Bb5 Ab5
And hack up a boulder
(HACK!)

B  Bb5 B Bb5 Ab5
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK!)

B  Bb5 B Bb5 Ab5
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK! HACK!)
Up a boulder

N.C.
Now, one day, now I believe it was on a Tuesday, a man in a checkered double-knit suit drove up in a large El

N.C.
Dorado Cadillac, leased from BOB SPREEN... (where the freeways meet in Downey)

N.C.
And he laid a HUGE, BULGING ENVELOPE right at the corner of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where his
'foot' was supposed to be.

N.C.
Now, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it! All those postcards he'd posed for, for ALL OF THOSE YEARS,

N.C.
 and finally, now, AT LAST, his Royalties!

N.C.
Royalties!

N.C.
Royalties . . .

N.C.
Royalties!

N.C.
Royalty check is in, honey!

              Ab5
Yes, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was RICH!

Ab5
Yes, and his eyeball-caves, they widened in amazement, and his jaw (which was a cliff), well it dropped thirty
feet!

N.C.
A bunch of dust puffed out! Rocks and boulders hacked up, (hack! hack!) crushing 'The LINCOLN'!

 Ab
I gave him the money

  Bb
He acted real funny

  Db
He hocked up a rock and

 Db C   Bb Ab
It TOTALLED my car!

      Ab
Oh, do you know any trucks

     Bb
Might be bound for THE VALLEY?

    Db
I don't wanna stand here
  Db  C Bb Ab
All night in this bar
(Dear Lord)

 Db
I don't wanna stand here

  Db  C Bb  Ab
All night in this bar
(No shit!)

 Db
I don't wanna stand here

Db        Eb
All night in this bar!

N.C.
By two o'clock, when the bars are already closed down, BILLY had broken 'THE BIG NEWS' to ETHELL.

N.C.
And with dust and boulders everywhere, BILLY, choked with excitement, announced . . .

N.C.
"ETHELL, we're going on a VACATION!"

N.C.
Yes, and they WERE going on a vacation! (Oh, and ETHELL, ETHELL, ETHELL, like every little woman,

N.C.
she of course was very excited! She creaked a little bit, and some old birds flew off of her.)

N.C.
BILLY told ETHELL they were going to . . .

Ab G

N.C.
Yes! They were going to NEW YORK!

N.C.
"ETHELL, we're going to . . . New York!"

N.C.
But first they were gonna stop in LAS VEGAS . . .

Ab
It's off to LAS VEGAS

  Bb
to check out the lounges

Db
Pull a few handles,

  Db  C Bb  Ab
And drink a few beers,
(Oh, ETHELL!)

Ab
ETHELL, my darling,

  Bb
you know that I love you!

  Db
I'm glad we could have a

Db  C Bb  Ab
Vacation this year!
(Oh, NEET-O!)

Db
Glad we could have a

Db      Eb
Vacation this year!

F G (repeat this section)
They left that night, crunchin' across the Mojave Desert . . . their voices echoing through the canyons of
your minds (POO-AAH!)
"ETHELL, wanna get a cuppa cawfee?"
(Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's!
Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's!)
"Ahhh! there's a HOWARD JOHNSONS! Wanna eat some CLAMS?"

Ab
The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE . . .

Ab
And TO THIS VERY DAY, 'Wing Nuts' and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that

Ab
fateful night when TEST STAND #1 and THE ROCKET SLED ITSELF . . . (We have ignition!) . . .

 N.C.
got LUNCHED!
I said LUNCHED! (Lunched!) By a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE.