A# You're in Independence! C Welcome to N.C. The city so pleasing That everyone's leaving G Fuck it, go west C Watch your backs
N.C. The city is bustlin' With all kinds of hustlin' G And grit, go west A# G For Independence N.C. Here are just a few things you should know: Stay on the trail or you might get lost N.C. Don't pay the toll, not worth the cost Marry rich so ya don't die poor A# A bankers' best, but ya might die bored C And independent (Dialogue) N.C. There's lots to learn N.C. Which kid is your favorite? Not all of them make it G Of course, sinkholes C A nine-month dirge N.C. Every marriage is tested Thank God they invented G A# Divorce, trending In Independence G Here's a piece of free advice for you: N.C. Before you go the General Store Has all you need and plenty more C For your I-N-D-E-pendence GENERAL STORE GUY: N.C. We're all friends N.C. There's no war a-brewing No one's abusing G Their rights to own an OX: C Ox like me! GENERAL STORE GUY: N.C. You'll need a full yolk OX: N.C. Their love and care is no joke GENERAL STORE GUY: G It's a job of your love OX: N.C. Independent! GENERAL STORE GUY: F C G Here are just a few rules to live by FATHER: N.C. For your independence! GENERAL STORE GUY: N.C. Don't say sorry to your Indian guide N.C. They're not prepared for genocide N.C. You might die of cholera and you might die of pain N.C. But that's okay 'cause you'll probably get laid N.C. By your mom and dad and little kids too N.C. 'Cause you all have to share the same bedroom N.C. Use your kids as tourniquets "Cause they won't help when you're bit C By a bear! Or a snake! G Mother Nature's really great C Em F When you're out there on the Oregon Trail C Em F Feels like you are going to fail Am F G But don't give up too soon Am F G The world is your saloon MOTHER: F There's a place for us C In a house out west F It's Oregon or bust C To save the family crest F That's the promise of the valley C Leave all this behind D Lord have mercy on my soul C As I try to lead the blind! N.C. Chin up kids N.C. Your family's united DAUGHTER: N.C. I guess I'm excited... GRANDPA: G Oh, I'm so excited I pooped myself! MOTHER: C Let's go where N.C. The gold rush is soaring MOTHER, DAUGHTER, SON, GRANDPA: N.C. Let's go exploring G Our independence! N.C. CITIZEN & FATHER: N.C. Be prepared to take your life N.C. With an arrow or a hunting knife N.C. Stop and see Fort Laramie N.C. There's nothin' to see, but you'll have to pee N.C. Do you understand 'cause you look confused N.C. Take a look at scenic mountain views N.C. Stay away from Old Man Bridger N.C. When he's drunk he'll take your liver N.C. Life is not a petting zoo Or you'll get ripped in two G By a... ALL: C ...Bear! Or a snake! G Mother Nature's really great C Em F Staying alive can be lots of fun C Em F Be sure you have a loaded gun G Something will go wrong Am F G The list is far too long Declare your independence G#m Declare your independence Am Declare your independence Declare your CITIZEN: I! DAUGHTER: N! N.C. MOTHER: D! N.C. SON: E! N.C. GRANDPA: P! N.C. FATHER: E! N.C. CITIZEN: N! N.C. DAUGHTER: D! ALL: ENCE! G G#m Diphtheria, leukemia, onomatopoeia Am A#m All the same 'cause it gives you diarrhea Gm G#m Runaway thieves are on the lamb A Am Leave them up to Uncle Sam Gm Don't stress G#m Take a breath D It might just be your last! N.C. (Dialogue) ALL: C For your I-N-D-E-pendence FAMILY: N.C. Time to hit the road!