Beetlejuice - The Whole Being Dead Thing Ukulele chords by Soundtracks

Tuning: G C E A (G C E A)

BETELGEUSE, sung:
F#
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!
D
‘Scuse me! Sorry to barge in
B                      A
Now let’s skip the tears and start on the whole
    G#
Y’know

Being dead thing

F#m
You’re doomed! Enjoy the singing
D

The sword of Damocles is swinging
B
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
   A
I’ll kill you myself
   G#m
The whole being dead thing!

Bm
Death can get a person stressed
   F#
“We should have carpe’d way more diems

Now we’re never gonna see ‘em!"
G#m
I can show you what comes next
          C#
So don’t be freaked
          D
Stay in your seats

I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week!
C#
So just relax, you’ll be fine

Drink your fifty-dollar wine

And take a breath!

ENSEMBLE:

Welcome to a show about death!


BETELGEUSE:
F#
You’re…
         E
You’re gonna be fine…
    B
On the other side…
F#
DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
F#
I'll...
       E
I’ll be your guide...
    B
To the other side…

ENSEMBLE:
D                C#
Oh, and full disclosure: It’s a show about death!

BETELGEUSE:
Gm
Everybody gets on fine here
   D#
Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
C
The women’s bathroom has no line here

Just...
N.C.
Pee where you want!
  A
The whole being dead thing!
Gm
You’re just gonna love the folks here
D#
Yeah, I know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here!
   C
And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here

The whole-

heavy sniffing:

PAH-HAH! The whole being dead thing!

Cm
Nobody is bullet-proof!
G
“I work out, I eat clean!”
Gm       F
Jesus, pass the Dramamine
Cm
Time to face the brutal truth:
    Dm
‘Cause we’re all on a hitlist

Might not live ‘till Christmas

Choke to death on Triscuits

Hey, that’s just statistics
  D#
So take a little break here
G#m
Kinda like a wake here
   D#m
The scenery is fake here
   D#      D#m
But there's a giant snake here!

|Gm| |Gm| |Gm| |A#m| |C#|

ENSEMBLE:
D#
Welcome to a show about death!

BETELGEUSE:
G
You’re…
         G7
You’re gonna be fine…

THANK YOU!
    D
On the other side…

HOW YOU DOIN’?
C
Woah! Not good!
 G      F
Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!

Fm
I’ll…
    D#m
I’ll be your guide!
       A# C
To the other side!
N.C.
Seriously, though, this is a show about-


ENSEMBLE:
A#m                    Fm
Death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new
         A#m
There’s nothing medical professionals can do
    F     Fm
'Cept maybe just bill you

BETELGEUSE, spoken:

If you die while listening to this album
                F D#
It's still gonna keep playing

ENSEMBLE:
      A#m
There’s no destiny or fate
    Fm
Just a terrifying wait
      A#m
Filled with people that you hate
       D#            C
And on a certain date, the universe kills you!

BETELGEUSE:

N.C.
That’s the thing with life:
           A#
No-one makes it out alive!
C       D   Cm
Toss that body in the pit
 G
“Gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic?”
           F
“Blah, blah, Bible Jesus magic.”
Cm
When you’re dead, who gives a shit?
Gm
No pilates, no more yoga!

“Namaste”, you freakin’ posers

Cm
From the cradle to cremation
A#
Death just needs a little conversation!
D
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae!)
          D#  D
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae!)

   D
So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae!)
    G#  D   G
On the whole being dead thing!

ALL:
D                        G
God, I hope you’re ready for a show about death!