Capo 2nd fret [Intro:] (Dm C) x2 (Dm F C Dm C Dm C Dm) Dm I'll tell you a story that happened to me C One day as I went down to Yawl by the sea Dm F C The sun it was bright and the day it was warm, Dm C Dm C Dm Says I, "a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm" I went in to the barman, and says "give me a stout" Says the barman, "I'm sorry, all the beer is sold out Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood" Says I, "I'll try cider, I've heard that it's good."
[Chorus:] Dm Oh never, oh never, oh never again C If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten Dm F C 'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up Dm C Dm C Dm After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up After lowering the third, I headed straight for the yard, Where I bumped into Brophy, the big civic guard. "Come here to me, boy - don't you know I'm the law?"; Well I up with my first, and I shattered his jaw! He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up, But it wasn't I hit him; 'twas the Johnny Jump up! The next thing I saw, down in Cork by the Lee, Was a cripple on crutches, and he beckoned to me. "I'm afraid for my life - I'll be hit by a car! Would you help me across to the Railwaymen's Bar?" And, after three pints of that cider so sweet, He threw down his crutches, and he danced on his feet. Chorus I went down the Lee Road a friend for to see. They had him in a madhouse in Cork by the Lee. And, when I got there - the truth I do tell - They had the poor bugger locked up in a cell! Says the doctor to him, "Say these words, if you can: 'Round the ragged rocks the ragged rascal ran' " - "Tell them I'm not crazy! Tell them I'm not mad! 'Twas only six pints of that cider I had!" Chorus Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabb. They washed him and laid him outside on a slab, And, after the coroner his measure did take, His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake. 'Twas about twelve o'clock, and the beer, it was high, When the corpse, he sat up, and he said, with a sigh,