Numbers chords by Bobby Bare

NUMBERS
Recorded by Bobby Bare
Written by Shel Silverstein

G                       D
I was sittin' here Friday suppin' on a glass of wine
                      G
When in walked a chick who almost struck me blind
                       C
She had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine
   D                     G
On a scale of ONE to TEN (pause) I'd give her a NINE.

G                  D
Now on my scale there ain't no TEN's, you know
                  G
NINE is about as far as any chick can go
                          C
So I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me
    D                 G
So for brains and good judgement, give her a THREE.

G                     D
I said, hey sweet thing, you look like a possible EIGHT
                           G
You and me could, uh! make EIGHTEEN, if your head's on straight
                C
She looked up and down my perfect frame
    D                   G
And said these words that burned into my perfect brain.

G                   D
She said, well, another one of those macho Texas men
                      G
Tryin' to grade all women on scales of ONE to TEN
                               C
And, uh!, you give me an EIGHT, well, that's a generous thing to do
   D                G
Now, let's just see, just how much I give you.

(CHANGE TO KEY OF A)
  A                         E
She said you comin' on to me with that phony NUMBERS jive
                   A
Your style makes me smile, I give it a FIVE
                      D
When you walked up I noticed that suit of (yores)
   E                       A
It's last year's double knit-french cuffs, give it a FOUR.

A                  E
That must be your car parked out on the curb
                          A
That 'SIXTY-NINE homemade convertible, A THREE and A THIRD
                     D
I saw that build, I guess (yore) less than FIVE
   E                     A
Said, for your pot belly, I'd give that a TEN for size.

A                  E
That wine you're pourin' might be fine to you
                     A
But I'm used to fine champagne, I give it a TWO
                      D
It's hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth
   E                  A
I give it a SIX, you could use some dental work.

A                         E
But, It's your struttin' rooster act that really makes me laugh
                               A
It may be a TEN to these country hens, but to me a THREE and A HALF
                           D
And there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done
  E                    A
And since there ain't no ZEROes, I give you a ONE.

A               E
She walked out, while up and down the line
                              A
The whole bar was laughin', sayin' BARE, what happened to your NINE
                        D
NINE says I, hell soon as she started to talk I knew
  E                    A
She didn't have no class, I barely gave her a TWO.

(TALK) Yeah! No matter how good they look at first
There's flaws in all of them
That's why on a scale of TEN to ONE, friend
There ain't no TEN.